Artistic Tug of War

I seem to have a love hate commitment with art.  I find myself always needing it my life in some form or another. Either by going to art shows and finding inspiration or actually working on a few projects. Those things are the things that I love. What I hate is, that life seems to get in the way of the projects I start. Some thing which has more importance pulls me away. Sometimes the issue is too pressing for me to even focus on anything else except for the issue at hand.

Last year I found myself dealing with some issues that seemed to come in one right after the other. Things are back up and pretty close to normal, but now I struggle to get back into the mode of working on my art. I’m searching for inspiration and finding so much out there. But, inside I haven’t the drive. 

This is the same sad song that plays over and over in my life. I can never seem to find a steady pace of focus without interruption. And one would think that this is just a whole bunch of crap. But, for someone like me, whose art is driven solely by the need, the passion, the emotion of what I need to express. It becomes difficult to express anything when the emotions within are so tossed.

For many years I’ve wanted to show. And this year I will accomplish a way to project my confusion, stagnation to a form of artistical expression. Regardless of whether or not it turns into a venture or only a form of relief. It just seems the longer I’m without it the more I long. And when it comes, it’s harder to express.

Somewhere in this emotional push and pull I need to find a way to have art in my life.  Without it there is such a big void.


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