It’s the year 2009. Life seems to have slipped through time faster as each year goes by. I live it day to day. Working, being responsible and being who I’ve grown up to be.
Today no different than any other, I started it with a nice cup of coffee from Starbucks. I sat down at the table near the window just to catch a little bit of life before it slipped through time again. I looked out through the glass to see the world moving at its pace. Then in the window I caught a glimpse of myself. The reflection in my eyes I saw my youth and remembered other days that I had sat at coffee houses watching others pass by. Then memories flashed of other times that had slipped of me. It’s who I was before this day. It was a time before I grew up to be me. So, I thought. I stared back at myself and wondered is this me? Who I have grown up to be? I wake up and do the things I’m suppose to do. I live as I ought to. And my life I thought was fulfilled. But, why when I look back at myself am I unfamiliar?
“Pardon me, is this chair taken?” a man asks pulling me away from my memories and thoughts. No, I say, please take it. My time here has elasped it’s now back to work, to live this day as every day, being responsible, who’ve I’ve grown up to be. And as I stand to leave this place, I catch myself staring back at me and wondered, is this me?
I’m a sucker for a good challenge blog. I was over at Cathy Parmele’s Art + Life blog. She participates in a weekly challenge called Sunday Postcard Art Challenge. Looks like it’s a challenge blog that’s been running for almost a year.
The challenge format is similar to most. A challenge is posted on Sunday and you have the whole week to create a 6×4 postcard with the challenge theme. I think this will be a fun challenge to participate in. And I love the 6×4 format.
I purchased my blank book for this project. It’s a nice hard cover, spiral bound canson blank book. The size is 9 x 7. It’s not too big and doesn’t seem as intimidating as an 8 x 11 journal. For me it’s a nice size. What size did you buy?
Last year I had joined a group to start creating an art journal, but the group seemed to disband. Which is sad really. But, I want to create an art journal. I’m going to spend sometime finding a process that works for me.
First what is a journal? At Dictionary.com the definition of a journal… “is a daily record, as of occurrences, experiences, or observations.” Merrian-Webster defines it as…” 1 a: a record of current transactions ; especially: a book of original entry in double-entry bookkeepingb: an account of day-to-day eventsc: a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly for private used: a record of transactions kept by a deliberative or legislative bodye:log 3f:log4″ Basically, a journal can be a record of anything that you find of value. I know some artists keep a sketch journal. It shows a step by step process of how they’ve grown in their skills. Some journals are technique journals. Documenting the use of different techniques in any medium. Technique journals might be made by mixed media artists, rubberstamp artists, charcoal artists, etc…
What type of art journal do I want to make? Well my focus is learning how to release my inhibited creative energy. I want to create while learning to quiet the critizing voice inside. I want to paint and write in the pages. My style will probably fluctuate. I do a lot of mixed media work. This is my focus at this time. The thing that’s great about your journal is you can make it in what ever style you’d like. If you’re more of a scrapbooker, than make it more “scrapbookie”. If your more of a collage artist then collage it up. Your journal is your own. And I will make mine my own.
How will you define your journal? Maybe an undefined journal is more you.
Years ago I found myself starting a blog. It was a litle bit uncomfortable. Infact I wondered why I even started. I could never see myself adapting to using a keyboard to express myself. I always thought that the pen would always be the most comforting thing in my hand. It was a straight connection of emotions that spilled out onto a page through my body. Then again this was years ago. I haven’t quite gotten the hang of expressing myself with a keyboard. I often find myself staring at a blank screen. Not really because I have nothing to write, but because it’s still a little difficult to translate what I feel in this manner. But, yet I’m so far removed from writing with a pen that I find myself frozen in the same state of immobility when looking at a blank journal.
Let me tell you a bit about myself. As flowing as art is, my personality is not as flowing as I’d like it to be. I find myself stuck in an overanalysis about the project I’m starting. I’m stuck in a repeat loop of my thoughts questioning, wondering and trying to understand the point of what I’m doing. There never really is a quiet moment when I’m not contemplating the what, why and how of an art project. I imagine ‘true’ artists to be one who just whip out their tools and materials then, with a frenzy dive into their work with this uninhibited creative energy. I’ve had times like these, but they’re less frequent than I’d like. My perspective happens to be an over critical self who has absolutely no confidence.
Back to the blank journal… Stuck in the clean silence of a new piece of canvas, I trap myself in senseless thought. Now this could very well be my artistic process. Who knows. Unfortunately, I only know myself. I have no idea if others go through this sort of thing. But, I’d like to learn how to let my creative energy flow. How to understand my process of creative focus without judgement. I start with a blank journal and this begins of the Journey to finding my inner creativity.
Join me? Find yourself a blank journal.
Why create an art journal? I leave you with this….
I’ve abandoned the blog for a bit. Actually, I’ve abandoned art for a bit. After my grandmother died, my grandfather passed away shortly after. Then the holidays began and I just got swept away with it and the emotions that came along with. I let go art and everything else. I guess I needed that time away. The time to just let me be me and soak in the things I needed to. I kept up on FB and other things, but there was a part of me that withdrew. It was the part that shared myself in written expression and in colorful emotional sharing. I just couldn’t find it in me to create. So, I stepped away. I did leave with somethings unfinished. I’m not 100% Life still continued as I drifted from here. There are a lot of other things I need to commit to as well. So, finding a bit of balance and slowly letting the artistic side of me return.
